I am American, and proud to be an American. My name is
Darren Reiley, which I usually point out to people is very Irish, and I often
call myself Irish, even though I’ve never been to Ireland, because my ancestors
came from there, and for some reason I think of that as my racial identity more
than my English great grandparents or Cherokee great great grandmother (though
I mention them sometimes too; white folks do that a lot here.)
I like to think about being American sometimes. We’re great thinkers here in America. Just this morning, I was thinking about the New Year, which we
celebrate here generally by getting really drunk and setting off
explosives. The year we recognize starts
with January which was named for a pagan Roman god. The rest of the months, too, were named for
either a Roman god, emperor or number.
As far as I know, no Romans ever lived in America; if they did, the other
immigrants here probably called them Italians, or something worse. Oh, by the way, I call myself American
because of an Italian explorer named Amerigo Vespucci, who never set foot in
what is now my country. (As Americans,
we often forget there is a South America, and they’re Americans too. This is a technicality.)
As Americans, we begin our week with Sunday (or
Monday). We have catchy little songs
about the days of the week to teach our children to remember them. They must be hard to remember at first since
those days are named for Viking gods like Tiu, Woden and Thor. Somehow, Saturn snuck in there too. Those Romans again.
When we teach our kids math in school, here in America, we
take some time first to make sure they know how to write their numbers clearly,
and put them in the proper order, with the smallest numbers on the right. We do this because we get our numbers from
Arabic, not just the order and system, but the shape of the numbers themselves. We now require all of our kids to know al-gebra (an Arabic word), because it’s a
REALLY good way to do math. We do this
because back when white folks in Europe were hanging out in the Dark Ages,
forgetting how to read if they ever knew, dying from plagues or local feudal
lords or corrupt priests, the Arabs and Persians were doing really well, making
art and developing math and astronomy and writing poetry. We don’t teach that part in schools. We mostly prefer to think of the numbers we
use as “American.” Then we can be proud
of them.
Christianity is the official state religion here in America. People say it isn’t, and that we have a
separation of Church and State, but we’ve never had a non-Christian President—can’t
even imagine having a non-Christian
president—so I know that’s wrong. A lot
of Christians here like to say God Bless America, because they’re proud to
be Americans too, and that means God must be on our side, whatever we’re
doing. We usually show pictures of Jesus
as a white guy, even though he was Jewish and probably looked more like a
Palestinian. We talk about Jesus a lot
here in America,
with a hard “J” even though that name came from the Latin Iesu, which came from
the Greek Iesu which came from the
Hebrew Yeshua, which was his real name.
We don’t teach that in school or in church either because, well, He
likes America
enough to bless it all the time, so He must understand, especially with Christmas coming up. What's more American than Christmas, when a fat Turkish saint with a Dutch name rides a sleigh with eight reindeer, most likely inspired by the same Viking god who gave us Thursday, and delivers presents made by children in China?
Because I'm American, I speak good English, which is a strangely accented and often
poorly spelled descendent of Anglo-Saxon, heavily seasoned with French, Latin
and Greek. I speak this language because
the land where I live was colonized by people from the island of England,
who took the land, most often by force, from the Native American people who
lived here first. The English found out
about this land because it was apparently “discovered” by another Italian
explorer, sailing for the Spanish, who was looking for India, and who also
never actually set foot on American soil, but we name a lot of our cities, rivers
and schools after him anyway. If we know
about it at all, we don’t worry too much about the fact that he was personally
responsible for killing at least 100,000 Arawak Indians. I was taught in school that genocide is bad,
but that Columbus
was brave and adventurous and clever. So was Andrew Jackson.
I was also taught that slavery is bad, but money is
good. Sometimes these things are hard to
think about at the same time, since much of America's wealth came from 150 years or
so of white folks forcing black folks to work for free. It’s easier to think about how this country
also got really wealthy because all those Chinese folks built all those useful railroads. They got paid $7 per week. It sure was nice of them to work so hard for
so little. I bet they were proud to be
American too, even if the white folks at the time didn’t call them American and
wouldn’t let them be citizens.
Then again, America
might also be really wealthy because of all of those helpful migrant workers who
still harvest all of our fruits and nuts and vegetables. They must be proud to be American too, since
they’re willing to work so hard for six bucks an hour, when minimum wage is
nine. As a documented American citizen,
I sure wouldn’t do that. I know my
rights.
Finally, I’m proud to be an American because I’m free. Free to buy plastic stuff I probably don’t
need that was made in China; free to wear nice, stylish clothes made by small
children in Bengladesh; free to drive my Japanese car using oil from Iraq. I won’t forget the men (black, white, or
Arab) or the women or children (Cambodian, Indonesian or Guatemalan) who died,
who gave those rights to me. And I know I'm free, and I have these rights, because the Constitution, the greatest American invention, which was largely based on the Haudenosaunee Confederacy, says so.
I’m American, by God.
I know who I am. Do you?